Subspecies (1991)

What can I say about Subspecies? I can say it is one of the best movies ever made and one of the best movies from Full Moon. When I first downloaded Tubi, great app check it out, I saw they had a whole channel dedicated to Full Moon. Made me excited so I searched through their catalogue that was available. One of those movies listed was this little title, Subspecies. 

Subspecies tells the story of Radu Vladislas (played by Anders Hove) who kills his father The Vampire King (played by Angus Scrimm) with the power of... breaking off his fingers that morph into demon creatures... Reason for the title! Radu is pissed that The Tall Man on Holiday was giving the Blood Stone to his brother, Stefan Vladislas (played by Michael Watson). This movie is heavily Romanian get used to names like that.  Radu kidnaps three girls and plans to turn them into vampires by, how else? Sucking their blood! Well, Radu has the hots for a specific member of the three girls, Michelle (played in this movie by Laura Mae Tate). Stefan hates his older brother, and why wouldn't he Radu just looks evil, so he teams up with Karl (played by Ivan Rado) to kill Radu with every vampire method in the book. No sunlight isn't used until Subspecies III. Unfortunately despite supposedly killing Radu he turns Michelle into a vampire and his little finger creatures are never seen again.

This is a really good movie that I suggest you check out. Like mentioned above, most of the Full Moon library is available on Tubi. So you can easily check this movie out. 

Treasure Planet (2002)

This movie came out in 2002. At the time of writing this movie is eighteen years old so feel old while reading. This movie is way too underrated. Okay so if you know the story of Treasure Island than you know the plot.

Jim Hawkins (voiced by... Joseph Gordon-Levitt? For real? Almost 20 years after this movie released and I just learned that) is a young boy who sets out for the stars after the legendary "Treasure Planet" with Doctor Doppler (voiced by David Hyde Pierce) similar to Treasure Island but instead of a rinky dink island this is a MOTHER FUCKING PLANET! Jim befriends the cook, John Silver (voiced by Brian Murray) ... Get it. His name's John Silver. Like Long John Silver. How did no one catch this guy?! The pirates find Treasure Planet after discovering the robot B.E.N. (voiced by Martin Short). With the help of Martin Short9000 they find the location of Treasure Planet and nearly die because that place was hella booby trapped. It's a pretty simple story of learning to be an adult in the face of danger even if you may not be ready or even the age to be an adult. While the plot may seem short the whole crux of the movie is the character moments between Jim and John. Jim learns to be an adult and mature past being a punk kid and John learns what it is to care for more than just treasure. The movie is a character study.

This movie is 18 years old. Have I driven that point home yet? I'm old! Seriously, this movie movie is a, pun intended, treasure. It's a shame it failed at the box office. The films budget was 140 million USD and made 109.6 million USD. Not too bad made a good chunk of the budget back. But that meant the movie failed... And they planned for a sequel that got cancelled after that box office return. Let's hope with the rise of Disney+ we will hopefully see that sequel. If they can make Hocus Pocus 2 they can make Treasure Planet 2.

The Incredibles (2004)

Mother fucking super heroes! Who doesn't love super heroes? No one! Everyone loves super heroes! And none so more loved than Disney/Pixar's 2004 magnum opus The Incredibles. That introduced the world to Mrs. Incredible and her Incredible ass. What? It's the internet. Everyone horny for her. DOn't judge me!

The plot is fairly simple... and complex at the same time. The film is about Bob Parr/Mr. Incredible (voiced by Craig T. Nelson) who is the mightiest of the supers. His wife Helen Parr/Elastigirl/Mrs. Incredible (voiced by Holly Hunter) their daughter Violet (voiced by Sarah Vowell) and their sons Dash (voiced bySpencer Fox) and Jack-Jack (voiced by literal baby noises) and their family friend Lucious Best/Frozone (voiced by Sam mother fucking Jackson). Their called supers and not superheroes because Marvel owns the copyright on the word "superhero" alright. Bob has to deal with the plight of supers being forced underground and into witness protection after the fact that with heroes comes destruction. He's bored with his life until a mysterious snacc known as Mirage who whisps him away to the lovely island of Nomanisan Island. ... Bob you're a fucking idiot. Yeah he goes to this island and discovers that giant robots have been secretly killing supers on said island. All under the order of Syndrome (voiced by Jason Lee) who, as a kid, Bob treated like shit because he wanted to be a hero. Bob you're a fucking idiot.  The family discover he's on the island and go after him to where they reunite and get captured. All leading up to a climatic battle with the giant robot and The Incredibles, Syndrome fucking dies, and somewhere in there is 3 foot tall fashion designer with the voice of Brad Bird. And a sequel that came out 15 years later. Bob you fucking idiot.

This movie is a classic that you've all seen. The movie has been out for over 15 years you've better seen it! I highly recommend you watch it if anything to watch the sequel.

Godzilla vs Hedorah (1971)

It's fair to say massive amounts of drugs were involved in the making of this movie. Not because the movie feels like a drug trip, but because it was the 70s.

Godzilla vs Hedorah, or Godzilla vs The Smog Monster in the States, tells the story of Godzilla fighting an alien sludge monster that can fuck up anything and might be made out of literal shit. There's also scenes of bones of people that dissolved in Hedorah's fumes, fish people that might be a literal drug trip, and Godzilla stoned off his ass. All jokes aside it is actually a thought provoking movie. Director Yoshimitsu Banno put his all into the making of this movie and gave Godzilla the strangest monster he had ever fought.

The story of Banno and the Goji series is a sad one. After the 1971 failure of Godzilla vs Hedorah Banno was booted from the directors chair. In 2007 he shopped around the idea of a 3D Godzilla movie that never happened. After that he produced the 2014 American Godzilla reboot before his untimely passing in 2017. In 2004 Banno's creation made a small, and I mean very small, cameo appearance in franchise swan song "Godzilla: Final Wars" where he was swiftly taken out alongside Ebirah. Banno thought it was wrong his monster got the shaft and had less screen time than fucking Ebirah that during promotional photo shoots they recorded a small bit of Hedorah in action that played during the end credits. Banno's passing in 2017 was felt throughout the masses and people both film goers and G-Fans all hung their heads in honor of a man who delivered one of the more unique Godzilla movies.

If you haven't seen Godzilla vs Hedorah I really suggest you do. This was the first Godzilla movie I ever actually saw at a very young age. So I can, with a full hear say, this movie is a 10/10 that deserves your viewing.

This review is in honor of the memory of Yoshimitsu Banno (1931-2017)

Kung Fury (2015)

What to say about this movie. What to say. I could say it is the best movie ever made. I could say it is a marvel of filmmaking that not even the greats like Kubrick or Scorsese have yet to or ever will reach. It is a gold mark of filmmaking. The name of the goddamn production company is Laser Unicorns!

How do I explain this plot... Kung Fury, yes that's his name, Kung Fury (played by David Sandberg) He directed, wrote, and starred in this movie. He's like Tommy Wiseau if Tommy Wiseau knew what he was doing. And was good. Where was I? Oh yeah, Kung Fury is a cop who got struck by lightening and gained the powers of Kung Fu. YES the powers of Kung Fu bear with me here! He has to fight Hitler who goes by Kung Führer. There's also laser raptors, Thor, barbarian women with machine guns, and Triceracop. This movie is so batshit insane. The kicker? It's a short film. YUP! The movie is 31 minutes long!

This movie. THIS FUCKING MOVIE! You will have been a better person after having seen this movie. I seriously suggest this movie. Holy shit you will leave this movie having witnessed the face of God. Go watch this movie.

Anastasia (1997)

Anastasia, for some, is that movie we associate as "It's not a Disney movie" and with the Fox purchase Anastasia has since become a Disney property. I'm here to actually talk about a movie I enjoy with all my heart. Anastasia.

Anastasia is the tale of Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna of Russia, or simply Anastasia, and the mystery of what happened to her after the February Revolution during the Russian Revolution of 1912. The movie tells the tale of young Anya (voiced by Meg Ryan) who bumped her head and lost her memory and grew up with no knowledge of being a Princess. She spends time with two conmen; Dimitri and Vladimir (voiced by John Cusack and Kelsey Grammer) who attempt to get to Paris to visit her Grandmother (voiced by Angela Lansbury... Mrs. Potts from Beauty and the Beast. I saved you a Google search) while at the same time avoiding actual demon Grigori Rasputin (voiced by Cristopher Lloyd) and his flying comedic sidekick Bartok (voiced by half the cast of The Simpsons, Hank Azaria) There's also some songs in there.

There would be plot synopsis, but... It really is just that. The three con artists go from Russia to Paris to visit Empress Potts and live the Gucci life while witnessing horrific Rasputin animation. Don Bluth was out there to make sure we grew up with repressed memories, huh? It is a remarkable movie with stunning animation, the music is gorgeous, the story is there, and Anastasia helped me reach puberty way back when. It should be said that we all say "It's not a Disney movie!" because people do confuse it for Disney... but like, the film opens with the 20th Century Fox logo. How can people still make the mistake?!

If you haven't watched this movie stop lying to yourself. The movie is on Hulu so go watch it! According the poster this was a Thanksgiving release.

Frankenweenie (1984)

Tim Burton's twist on the classic tail of Frankenstein. I remember catching this movie once of Disney XD many years ago but haven't seen it since. Most know this movie for Burton's remake of it in 2012 done in his iconic stop motion style.

The movie is about young Victor Frankenstein and his dog Sparky. Sparky is killed after getting hit by a car. Upset, Victor gets the idea to reanimate Sparky after seeing a frog get shocked in science class. Sparky is revived and starts causing harmless fun throughout the town... Until we remember this is based on Frankenstein and a kid and his dog are nearly killed in a windmill because angry mob.

It's a classic story. The movie, and I use the word movie loosely the runtime is 26 minutes, is charming and heartwarming. I will say the family is more accepting of Sparky coming back in this one than in the remake. Guess that shows the difference between a 26 minute short and a 1 hour feature. It's a heartwarming film I suggest you check out if you have that sweet sub to Disney+ yo.